it’s been an awkward weekend. i’ve been feeling really lost and not quite myself. its the weirdest thing feeling like u want to be surrounded by people but then at the same time, when surrounded, feeling all alone and anitsocial.

i know what’s sparking this, and really, i have the antidote. i’m not naive and i’m not dumb. there is no cover over these eyes. it’s more the matter of being ready. and at this moment i think i may be. i cant keep this up. it’s not healthy and its self-destructing.

i’m hurt, i’m sad, i’m confused, and anticipate lots, and lots of writings coming from this all. emotions are such a bitch sometimes.

let me get through this and i promise to have more upbeat things to say soon.

Damn if this line does not sum up my life at the moment.  Lots and lotsa changes that are happening like everyday it seems. Some are good, some are sad, and some I sorta saw coming…. It’s so strange to think one day you have something that seems so well nurished and full and moving full steam ahead and then within a blink of an eye, its gone. Yup, just like that.  I losta love but gained a friend so its not all that bad I guess.  Although I am still trying to wrap my head around it all. My thoughts are all over the place and it really just depends on the time of day, if Im ok or not. The good news is that through the grey clouds, I do know the sun is above them still shinning. And it wont be long before that sun is shinning on me.  

Lesson learned: You can’t control everything.